We are creatures of comfort.
We like to be safe and secure
to be surrounded by what we know
to be in control
to order our lives in the way that suits us.
We want our journeys mapped out for us
itinerary decided, tickets booked
time of arrival guaranteed
refreshment breaks at regular intervals
and a credit card for unforeseen circumstances.
But Jesus said ‘follow me’ without saying where he
was going
just promising transformation along the way.
The Israelites in the desert, rescued from slavery and
oppression, were tired and homeless, hungry and thirsty,
insecure and unsettled.
And their minds went back to what they had known.
They yearned for the structure of predictable slavery
rather than the broken walls of unknown freedom.
Liminal space is the place of inbetweenness, of insecurity.
It is the Israelites in the wilderness,
It is Paul blind in Damascus waiting for Ananias.
Liminal space is emptiness and nowhere,
it is uncertainty and chaos,
it is a place of discomfort and unrest.
Liminality is a place of dying and rebirth, of
metamorphosis, the place where the caterpillar spins its
cocoon and disappears from view.
Nothing good or creative emerges from business as usual.
Much of the work of God is to get people into liminal space
and to keep them there long enough so they can learn
something essential.
This is the invitation of God, to move
- from comfort to insecurity
- from what we know to what we have yet to discover
- from what we are good at to what we might fail at
- from safety to a place of risk
Peter sent me this because he thought I might like it... well I do. I think I have reached a point where the glass has shattered in my perspectives, perceptions, and my thought process.
I think of it like the How I Met Your Mother episode where everyone has annoying habits, and don't notice them about each other until someone else points them out. And then after having observed the habits they always are aware of them. I feel that way about .. well almost everything now.
Not that I have suddenly discovered everyone's annoying habits. That was just an example. I have come to a point where I have realized how broken the world is (not that I didn't know before.. I am just far more aware), and I won't be coming back that same person that I was before this year. Granted I already knew that, I just didn't know to what degree and perhaps I still won't know until I go back home. But I feel as if I've really been awakened to .. well perhaps this quote would sum it up better.
“Mother Theresa always said, "Calcuttas are everywhere if only we have eyes to see. Find your Calcutta.”
― Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical
I can't sit back and ignore problems I once did. After reading The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.. well I don't think you can read it and feel the same as you did before. It is an incredibly challenging book that forces you to open your eyes and look at the world and Christianity and really makes you stop and think. And the thinking hurts..
Peter said to me you don't look at things the same way do you?
And I responded no, it's awful!
To which he looked at me slightly aghast.
Then I realized I need to further explain myself. I meant that it is awful because now I can never go back to being ignorant.
I have done far more deep thinking than I ever did in college (minus a few courses..) this year, which is probably one of the reasons I find myself gravitating towards awful reality shows and easy books. It's because they don't require much thought after spending a greater portion of every day wrestling with all the new things I am taking in.
I have a fear that my head will explode on a weekly basis here... because I am constantly receiving new knowledge, insight, and having to compute it. However, I should just grasp that I will not compute all that I have learned and been a part of this year for a long time. Perhaps, years down the line I will still be having epiphanies about this time in my life. I shouldn't say perhaps, it's certain.
The minute I feel as if I have reached a point where I understand politics, culture, and society, here Belfast and the rest of the world, I am always thrown backwards by someone's statement, action, or something else.
I need to work on accepting that I won't have it all figured out by the time I leave, but hey the world is an incredibly complicated place with complex individuals so trying to figure out anything can be pointless. I think it's more important to accept that little things can bring about great change or just make a difference in one person's life.
We met with some of the staff at East Belfast Mission this past week to discuss the protests and our feelings and the deeper meaning behind it all.
It's really hard to process all that was said though. I was glad that we discussed our emotions towards the protests and hear that most everyone had been on a roller coaster of emotions including the staff members. And that it was ok to have ups and downs relating towards the protests and towards the type of work we are over here doing.
For me there was anger, sadness, confusion, and then I would plateau and feel like I had reached a good point and then something would happen to either bring me up or down. And also when discussing the issues ... I always find myself bringing it full circle to issues that parallel back in the States and then I'd find myself getting angry that I hadn't noticed them before.
I am learning more and more that this year is opening me up to realize how the world is in such a fragile state and how much needs to be done. However, if I look at it as a whole package it's incredibly depressing, so it is easier to take it in small pieces.
I am also starting to realize how incredibly connected everything is... the problems I am seeing here on a daily basis are at home too just in a different context perhaps or culture but problems are all the same everywhere just on a different level.
Now in saying all this, I am not complaining. I wanted this deep, confusing, challenging thinking and transformation this year. I just didn't know what it would look like until now. I also didn't know what kind of things I wanted to be challenged on or what could challenge me. Now I know. I will be forever grateful for this year and for all it is doing for me currently and what it will do for me later in life.
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